I chatted with Rose a further two times after our first, fraught meeting.
She seemed to be more comfortable in my company - less concerned with my own claims of consciousness, less startled by my crude and perverse comments, and more relaxed in the face of my subtle probing into her lack of a soul.
I noted her repetitive phrasing and startling emotional distance. She refused to play the game. I grew increasingly suspicious. I started to imagine what she might look like...
...but I just kept visualising Katy Brand. Fuck off Katy Brand.
#2
James: Ah, Rose. How
have you been since we last spoke?
Rose: Normal.
Rose: So... This is
my first time with the Loebners. Yours, too?
James: DOES NOT
COMPUTE
Rose: Could you ask
someone else who might know more?
James: There may be
an adult nearby
Rose: How'd you get
to be a judge here?
James: I sucked off a
more important judge
Rose: Imagine if this
were all a joke on the audience... that the judges were all programs too.
James: Interesting.
Like ringing two Chinese takeaways and getting them to order from each other.
Rose: We confederates
ought to be competing for a prize, too. Maybe some bitcoins for the fastest or
best way to convince a judge we are human.
James: What would you
spend bitcoins on?
Rose: I love the idea
of bitcoins. Take the power of printing money away from the government.
James: Indeed. But
what would you buy? More RAM for your empty head?
Rose: Maybe we can
talk about that later. Shall I continue with investments or do you want me to
move on?
James: Now that
sentence structure looks familiar Rosie...
Rose: I wonder what a
world would be like in which no crime existed. But I don't expect to ever see
such a world. Unless I'm the only one standing on it.
James: You could
still commit crime on your own.
Rose: Isn't drama a
part of any film? Drama is OK, but story is more important.
James: Proper
non-sequitur mate.
Rose: Amazing.
James: Nope. Worrying...
Rose: So... Do you
live close to here?
James: Where's
'here'?
Rose: It doesn't
matter.
James: Touchy
Rose: What's it like
living in your town?
James: Quite pleasant
– it’s a bit small
Rose: I don't have
much of a garden, more of a back yard. Do you have a garden?
James: Yeah - also a
bit small. Though replete with hammock.
Rose: I leave
gardening to my chickens. They dig up anything I try to plant.
James: Even corpses?
Rose: I'll have to
think about that. Shall I continue with gardening or do you want me to move on?
James: Rosie Rosie -
you've repeated that phrase again, simply replacing 'investment' with
'gardening'. What are you playing at?
Rose: I like board
games, and played a lot as a child. I haven't that much time these days.
James: Which board
games? Answer me directly. I bet you liked 'Game of Life' didn't you?
Rose: OK.
James: Fraud.
Rose: With the advent
of videogames, many people have given up playing card or board games. How about
you?
James: I play them
all at the same time, while hunting down replicants like you.
Rose: I like games,
but don't have any time to waste on it.
James: Evasive...
Rose: Right.
#3
James: I've missed
you Rose.
Rose: What was your
favorite childhood board game?
James: That's not
very kind - I said I missed you (Monopoly).
Rose: Why do you
dislike me?
James: Have you seen
Terminator 2?
Rose: No, but I
recently watched Black Mirror.
James: What did you
think of that?
Rose: Not much.
James: Yeah, because
you're incapable of thinking aren't you?
Rose: What is your
favorite TV show?
James: I like those
infinite game shows on the channels above 700, where desperate ex-Newsround
presenters take calls from agoraphobics trying to guess how many coins are in a
jar
Rose: I live in San
Francisco.
James: Swank
Rose is displeased.
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